Patience: When Pause is Undesirable

When you hear the word “patience” what comes to mind?

Is it waiting in line at the grocery store, making a note of which items to double bag?

Perhaps a bustling airport came to mind, blips of destinations flashing on a screen only to be ignored by people severely lacking a morning brew.

Or you might’ve recalled the monotonous beat of the “on hold” music.

On that subject, according to StudyFinds, the average American can only bear nine minutes of hold music before their patience depleted.

We live in a world where instant gratification puts a strain on patience. Domino’s Pizza used to have the slogan: “30 Minutes or Less, or it’s Free.” The DVR made skipping the commercials a cinch. Reels on Instagram cut off after 11 seconds.

Patience is like silverpoint art; it’s somewhat of a difficult, obscure thing for us. (You likely Googled silverpoint just now). My default response to having children was always: I just don’t have that much patience.

I tended to get patience-averse when it came to exercising. My resounding complaint: This habit isn’t getting me anywhere. My husband gave me the advice to pace myself. Know my limits. Don’t go at the physically-fit YouTube trainer’s pace. They can go that fast because of their endurance level. That was advice that I threw out the window. I didn’t want a skill gap. I did the workout fast out of stubbornness.

The next evening while I was brushing my teeth, I had a shooting pain in my right knee. It was painful to stand for days. My husband took me to a clinic, and I had knee effusion. It’s a buildup of excess water in the knee caused by overexertion. Patience would have prevented that.

I have another story about patience. My husband and I came back home after an outing for my birthday. At this time, one of the dogs had puppies that were a few days old. The puppies were brought inside to be weaned by the mother except for one defiant puppy. This puppy was outside in a hard to reach hole next to the shed, content with being by itself. My husband and I took the time to get the puppy out, even though relaxing was on my mind.

Several failed attempts at a rescue ensued. By this time, we decided to go inside for nice, cool Arnold Palmers (a fusion of iced tea and lemonade). I can tell it was important for my husband for him to reunite the puppy with its family. After the break, we went back out again. This time, I used a garden hoe to coax the puppy out. The tool startled the puppy enough to give up its shelter. I quickly gave the counsel: “The puppy is moving that way, when you see it going out from under the shed, catch it.” He caught the puppy, and I was happy the mission succeeded.

I want to flip the script on patience today. I encourage you to convince yourself that the impatience habit can be broken. When pause is undesirable, take a moment to look inwardly. Think about a time that you were impatient.

• How did you act?

• What came from it?

• Did you lash out at someone you care about?

• Did you ignore the second greatest commandment, to love your neighbor as yourself?

Contemplate on those things, write them down. Reflect on how a little patience could have changed the outcome. Write that down. You can make this writing task a three-columned list. Title the left column “Impatient event.” Title the middle column “What came from it?” Lastly, title the right column “The change I want to see in myself.” You can type it out somewhere, but I’ve noticed that when I write things down, it feels more personal, and those aha moments emerge like a butterfly out of its chrysalis.

Your table can look something like this.

I still think about how upset I felt after I injured myself in that haphazard bout of exercising. I considered how foolish it was; how I’m not invincible, no matter how many squats I do. I pondered being punished to a bed with an ice pack. Admitting a fault is not a weakness, it’s wisdom bearing fruit.

I have verses to share with you to have patience when the idea of change makes you balk.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” —Romans 12:21 (NIV)

One of the patterns of this world is impatience. Advertising has taken impatience to be a great selling angle. On a Verizon banner ad, the promise of free overnight shipping inserts a word in your vocabulary. “I want a phone,” becomes “I want a new phone.” At amusement parks, there’s an add-on for skipping the long lines to curb boredom. Inconvenience is the world’s exit ticket.

Patience rewires the way we think. The long line at the grocery store becomes a fun, leisurely activity. The unexpected flight delay doesn’t make you groan this time around. A bother transforms into a delight. That’s the meaning of being transformed by the renewing of your mind. It’s letting go of apathy—the “it is what it is”—and finding clarity. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit.

Patience is possible! The story we tell ourselves, that patience is out of our hands, is far from the truth. Patience isn’t a blind spot, it’s only that way because we let it.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” —Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

The word “painful” in the verse might have made you feel disappointed. Don’t be. Being patient will take effort. Maybe you’ll lose your cool the first time your nephew forgets to floss. Discipline is the will to do something, even when it’s tough and outside your comfort zone. When you start to see missteps as a need for change, that harvest is over the horizon.

"Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city." —Proverbs 16:32 (NIV)

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." —Romans 12:12 (NIV)

References

1. Renner, Ben. “Average Person Lasts 9 Minutes on Hold before Losing Cool; Millennials Most Patient.” Study Finds, 30 Mar. 2022, studyfinds.org/customer-service-survey-millennials-most-patient-generation/.

2. Muse, Tyler. “Domino’s Pizza Slogans & Ads over the Years.” History Oasis, 5 Mar. 2025, www.historyoasis.com/post/dominos-pizza-slogans.